So I pop down to Waitrose for a few things, actually for a bottle of Pimms with the required accompanying items plus a bag of charcoal, to find a traffic queue backed about a mile down the road because traffic lights are being installed at a roundabout.

It doesn’t take too long to get through and I do a successful shop, which now includes Cornetto Ice Creams. On the drive back home, I once again patiently wait in an even longer queue. I put all the groceries away and rub my hands with glee thinking about that Pimms that I soOoo deservedly need now to celebrate the great weather. BUT, I go to put my bank card safely back in my purse as I had shoved it in my jean’s pocket, and to my horror realise .. there’s no card. Its gone! A frantic search in and around the car produces nothing, so sh*t on it, fit’s back to Waitrose!

Once again I have to join the traffic queue which is now even longer but I’m chilled. I’ve got a Cornetto to eat and I’m not going to get upset because my “Bank Card Angels” will be helping. Dash into Waitrose, oh sh*t on it, I need a mask. A quick dash back to the car and thankfully I find spare masks in the car. Okay sorted. Back to the shop I go, to the helpdesk where it is confirmed that a card from my bank was handed in.

Your name, I am asked, and for some rhyme nor reason, I say my previous surname! WTF Judith. You have not used that surname in 30 years!I then of course stumble over my words trying to say my correct name. Like WTF Judith, what is wrong with you! The very helpful little lady then asks me for ID to get my card back. Sh*t on it, in my haste and panic I had forgotten to pick up my purse so have no form of identification! Another WTF Judith moment, so it’s back in the car to go home and by now you know the procedure .. traffic, queue, home, turnaround, traffic, queue, Waitrose.

This time I remember my mask, purse is in hand and drivers license is definitely inside. A new person serves me, I explain my dilemma again. She nods confirming that the card was handed in and then she asks, “And your name is?”. Yes folks, I did it again, I said my previous surname . She goes to shake her head but I quickly stop her blundering my way through some sort of a explanation. She smiles sweetly looking at me as if she was shaking her head-inside-her-head.

Long end of the story is I thankfully got my card back but she did scrutinise my driver’s license very closely. Then it was another trip back home … traffic, queue and home. By that stage I don’t fancy making that Pimms so I had another Cornetto!

What did you do today my love, asked Grumpy-Gramps… oh, nothing much